March 6, 2017
Interview with Kay Potetz, author of the book Take It Back
Mike Carruthers: Do you ever get upset when someone is rude or ignores you?
Kay Potetz: I think many times the trigger mechanism for getting upset is when somebody does not live up to your expectations. For example I hold the door for you and you just walk through, you don’t even say thank you or anything – that triggers a lot of people off.
Kay Potetz, author of the book Take It Back, says these slights that we get from other people tap into something very basic.
Our brains are wired so that we do react and we’re wired to protect ourselves. Now of course somebody holding a door or cutting you off in traffic is not life threatening but we are wired to protect our lives. So any slight, anything that is not the way that we think it should be we react physiologically to that.
When you begin to understand that you don’t have to let those little slights get to you.
Whether somebody else says thank you or somebody else is courteous has nothing to do with me it’s all about them. So I’m going to do what I believe it right whether it’s being polite or holding the door for somebody and if they say thank you that’s nice. I have no idea what’s going on in their mind or their life etcetera – it’s not about you.
When you let people get under your skin you’re giving them power over you that they don’t deserve.
Whoever I’m angry with half of the people don’t know it and the other half probably don’t care. Take that power back – don’t give people the power to ruin your day like that.
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